For children, a birthday is often the most special day of the year. It’s a day when moms bake them cakes, when their teachers give them festive pencils and when they can count on receiving gifts, parties and special songs.

But these special birthday treats are no guarantee when a child has a birthday in a homeless shelter.

Sue Grafton is on a mission, complete with sprinkles and icing, to keep birthdays special for children living in Baltimore’s homeless shelters. A Lutherville mother of two young girls, Grafton decided that throwing birthday parties for homeless children was a way to fill a need in the community.

“It’s just the core of who I am,” Grafton said. “I just like to give children who don’t have any security or certainty something certain. And to make them feel special, in a time when they don’t feel special.”

Grafton, a nurse by profession, starting calling homeless shelters last spring to donate her medical services. She has tried to continue the community service ethic she was first introduced to at Loyola University Maryland, her alma mater. Loyola’s alumni association often mails newsletters encouraging their graduates to volunteer and give back, and Grafton logically attempted to donate her time as a nurse.

One shelter asked her, instead, if she could throw them a party.

Grafton was surprised—but it got her thinking about confetti and balloons instead of bandages and gauze.

Grafton started an organization called A Birthday Anywhere, which throws monthly birthday parties at, so far, three homeless shelters in Baltimore City and county. The largest shelter is Sarah’s Hope, where Grafton got her feet wet throwing her first party this past summer.

“I started at Sarah’s Hope and thought, let’s see how it goes,” said Grafton. “And it just was fine. I put e-mails out to about 15 people in the neighborhood, I had boxes of juice boxes dropped off—everybody dropped stuff off.”

Grafton was impressed by how people were willing to donate to her first party.

“So I thought, oh this isn’t that hard,” recalled Grafton. “And I had lots of volunteers, and everybody went down, and it was just awesome.”

Sarah’s Hope is a large shelter, and a birthday party can involve up to 40 children, of both sexes and all ages. The monthly parties celebrate all children with a birthday that month.

Grafton first attempted to keep the parties generic, to bridge the large span of participating children, but a volunteer with a floury thumb helped inspire an even more special celebration. Jennifer Levy, who works with Grafton’s husband in Hunt Valley, offered to bake specialized cakes for the parties.

“She’s like, ‘I’m single—I have nobody to bake for,’” chuckled Grafton of Levy’s contribution. When Grafton arrived at a birthday party with a Spiderman cake and a Girls Rock guitar cake, the kids were more excited than she’d ever seen them before.

“When I started bringing in the customized cakes, the kids were like, ‘Wow, look at your cake! Look at your cake!’ So I’ve been trying to stay more on the track of getting something more special for them.”

In March, Grafton’s 6-year-old daughter, Nina, got her whole class involved in sponsoring an April birthday party. A first-grader at Lutherville Laboratory Elementary, Nina routinely accompanies Grafton to the parties as her right-hand helper. Laurie Schattall, Nina’s teacher, coordinated a class-wide donation of cupcakes, goody bags, craft supplies, party crowns and presents, to sponsor a party for all the children with April birthdays at Sarah’s Hope.

“Mrs. Schattall was phenomenal,” said Julie Thomas, a room mother from Nina’s class. “She had the kids make birthday cards in class, and make birthday crowns for all the kids at the party, and paper chains for decorations.” Grafton spoke to Nina’s classmates about homelessness, so they could better understand how special their sponsored birthday party was. The children did not attend the party at the shelter, but several of their parents did as volunteers.

“When we got there, the kids who lived at Sarah’s Hope and their parents came in. They were just wonderful,” Thomas said. “They were just wonderful. They were so appreciative of the crafts, and the cupcakes—the kids got to decorate them themselves.” Thomas noted that some of the moms enjoyed the crafts so much that they sat and made paper flowers right alongside their children.

Thomas added, tearfully, “One little boy, when he opened his present, had a little Matchbox cars set. And you would have thought he’d won a million dollars.”

Thomas’ sixth grade son, Brendan, volunteered at the party too, for his service learning hours at Ridgely Middle School. He was in charge of the temporary tattoo station.

“That’s the one everyone seemed to like,” Brendan chimed in.

Thomas said, “He had everything under control until the kids decided they wanted more than one tattoo. Then the kids started picking up tattoos and putting tattoos on him.”

Brendan said he had fun at the party and chalked it up to a learning experience that he would happily do again. But Thomas admits that she and her son felt a little culture shock when some of the kids, who had been dressed for the evening party, wandered back into the room wearing pajamas.

“It made you realize this is where they were living,” Thomas said.

Grafton looks at the positive side of throwing a party. “Once you go, it’s a little addicting,” she said. “The kids are really wonderful. They’re not shy, there’s no holds barred, they cling on to your leg while you’re walking. They just want attention.”

Grafton said it one more time.

“They just want attention,” she echoed herself. “They just want to feel special.”

Grafton has had offices, church groups and scout troops sponsor birthday parties. One Brownie troop collected goody bags filled with candy and pinwheels, and dropped them off to her all the way from Harford County. An office group from Feats, Inc. sponsored a magic-themed party complete with top hats, magic wands and a magician.

“We’re there for the children, to give them one special moment,” said Grafton, whose party crafts include painting masks, jewelry boxes and picture frames, beading jewelry, and making tissue-paper insects. Glitter is often liberally available, and face-painting is always a hit. “And if they remember it a year from now, great, and if they don’t—it was good for the moment.”

She’s realistic about the circumstances that many of the families face.

“I think of homelessness as more of a temporary thing, but I guess if you’re in a cycle of drug abuse, or other cycles of abuse, [homelessness] could be very much cyclical, on a regular basis, for them.”

Grafton wants to have the man power to pick up more shelters for monthly birthday parties. To do it, she needs her parties to be sponsored by groups looking to contribute to the community. A party at Sarah’s Hope costs, in its entirely, no more than $120, and needs at least five adult volunteers. A party at Baltimore Outreach, a smaller shelter in Federal Hill, costs closer to $50. Grafton sees her role as simply a facilitator, acting as a go-between for the sponsoring groups and the shelters, when she’s not throwing the party herself.

“That’s all it is, just being a point of contact, a point of reference, to enable another group to donate,” said Grafton. “That’s all you need.”

To learn more about sponsoring a party or donating, visit A Birthday Anywhere here.