MARYLAND STATE FAIR: Best Of Awards - A True Carnival Experience

Best Ride: Super Shot

Awarding a "Best" to a State Fair ride is a daunting – and occasionally nauseating – task. What makes a great ride? Is it the duration? The terror? Is it the quiet satisfaction of slowly hovering above the entire fair, taking snapshot memories of the summertime fun below? Is it twirling in circles so fast and tight that it becomes impossible to keep that pit-beef sandwich down in your stomach where it belongs?

Tough to call.

This decision was made with a focus on one key factor: the rush.

For a pure, unmatched adrenaline rush, the title goes to Super Shot. A relative newcomer to the thrill ride scene, Super Shot satisfies in two essential ways: nervous anticipation and breathless, horrific pay-off.

Riders are slowly lifted 120 feet into the air, sitting up, feet dangling. There's a moment of serenity as you take in the view. Suddenly, your lungs are compressed with terror and your stomach has beelined for your throat, as the carriage drops – at free-fall speed – to just a foot or so above the cement platform.

It's impossible to breath, and though the ride is the shortest at the fair, the rush holds the most staying power. It's the kind of staying power that keeps you giddy and euphoric long enough to forget you paid $7 for a slice of pizza just a moment before. Another bonus, the split-second ride-time means you can ride it back-to-back with nearly no wait. 

Best Sweet Treat:  Miss Debbie's Specialty Apples

Apples come in seemingly endless flavors: Fiji, Red Delicious, Granny Smith, Orange Dreamsicle, Papa Smurf, Cheesecake, Chocolate Caliente – that's right, chocolate. Miss Debbie's Specialty Apples booth makes its annual appearance at the fair offering handmade, gourmet caramel apples. Every Granny Smith apple is "Hand-picked and caramel-dipped" before it undergoes the radical transformation from fruit to decadent dessert, according to Miss Debbie herself. 

It's the concoctions she dreams up after the caramel dip that really make her seem more like an alchemist than a dessert chef. For instance, she turns birthday cake into a topping.

The Birthday Confetti Apple is layered as such: caramel, white chocolate, freshly crumbled cake crumbs, more white chocolate, and sprinkles. Oh, and it's topped with actual birthday candles. Too sweet for you? Try the Chocolate Caliente, which is about as grown up as a caramel apple can get: caramel, jalapeno chocolate fudge and spicy-sweet hand-designed chocolate peppers to garnish.  There are even apples that are rolled in crushed raspberry cookie dust and topped with mini cupcakes. Yes, you read that right.

There are a myriad of sugary snacks to eat at the fair. But Miss Debbie's Specialty Apples stand out for three reasons: They come in any flavor you can imagine, they come on a stick for eat-and-walk convenience, and their presence makes both kids and adults beg for a piece of fruit.  

Best Old School Side Show:  Brutus "The Baconator"

The Sate Fair of old was ripe with sideshow acts offering a peek at the bizarre, grotesque, amazing and sometimes horrific.

For mere pennies, fairgoers could step inside a tent to see the world's smallest woman, the lizard man, the serpent twins or the bearded lady. For better or worse, the political correctness of the times has eradicated the acceptability of such shows.  

You'll be hard pressed to find any "freak show" tents sandwiched between the funnel cake vendors this year.

There is one huge exception. And huge is the key word here. Meet "The Baconator" – first name, Brutus.

He's no painted lady, but for 50 cents, you can dip into the white tent and stare your eyeballs out of your head at what 10,000 pork chops "snout to tail" looks like before it becomes BBQ.

Brutus doesn't mind. He's a little bit adorable, a little bit gross, definitely enormous, and probably delicious.

At nearly 1,300 pounds, with thick yellow tusks jutting out at an angle that gives his lips an unnerving smirk, it's probably best to keep any comments about BBQ sauce or cooking-out to yourself.