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PATCH PICKS: 5 Ways To Beat The Heat

Rising temperatures got you down? Fear not, Patch is here to save your summer day.

94, 97, and 99.

No, those aren't the ages of the surviving Golden Girls, it's what the forecast looked like for the tail end of this past week. This summer has been a doosey so far (and it hasn't even official started!), with scorching temperatures driving people indoors, and everyone smelling just a little worse on average than we did a few months ago. Air conditioners are sputtering, pavement baking, cars shooting hot exhaust, the sun pummeling everyone.

It looks like the heat will level off over the weekend, but who knows when it'll strike again. When it does, we need to be prepared with an arsenal of ways to beat the heat. Here are the five best ways to cool down in Timonium:


Go Swimming

Logically, the easiest way to cool down is to submerge your body in water, and Timonium has no shortage of options for you to do just that. Beaver Dam is officially open for the season, and if you prefer a little more chlorine, you're welcome to join the Padonia Park Swim Club. If money is tight, you'll find that a lot of homeowners in the area have backyard pools. Exhaust your social networks to try and befriend some of these people. 

Eat a Sno-Ball

Now here's a true Baltimore tradition. You can get a snow-cone anywhere, but why would you want one when you could have a Sno-Ball? You may be asking what the difference is, and if so, you're now dead to me. But for giggles, here is the answer: Snow balls are made of lighter, fluffier shaved ice, are drowned in about 10 times the amount of syrup, and can be stuffed with marshmallow cream. Try SnOasis on Padonia Road or SnOasis II on Falls and Joppa.

Try Some Fro-Yo

Not into flavored ice chips? Maybe frozen yogurt will be more your speed. It's relatively healthy, it often comes wrapped in a waffle cone, and you can sit inside while you eat it. Even though these places always seem to smell like a dentist's office, they're typically freezing inside, which may be the biggest perk of all. There are now three frozen yogurt shops to choose from in the area: , Tutti Frutti, and Yogoya, which JUST opened. You can print out coupons on their site here

See a Movie


Admittedly, not the cheapest way to beat the heat, but still one of the best. Think about the inside of a movie theater at Regal Hunt Valley Cinemadark, A/C blasting, a giant ICEE in your hand. Sitting still, no exertion, no sweating, no chance of sunburn—perfection. Your movie choice is critical here, though, because watching Jim Carrey act in something called Mr. Popper's Penguins and thinking about how much money he made for it may cause your blood to boil with rage. Choose wisely.

Ice Cream

Continuing the theme of eating frozen treats to keep the sweat off your back, sometimes the low-cal options just aren't cutting it. Head over to Cold Stone Creamery or and try a frigid dish of ice cream, made with only the fattiest whole milk, drenched in caramel and peanut butter sauce. Ice-cream may not cool you down as well as some of these other options, as the cold part of the dish is likely to get lost under the mountain of crumbled Oreos you've sprinkled on top, but eating it will ensure you don't indulge in any sort of physical activity for the rest of the day. That's sort of the same thing, right?

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